In the quarter century history of the internet, not one of the events, actions or conditions cited as a reason to regulate bandwidth allocation has ever happened. This is like buying flood insurance in the Gobi Desert..

Some other snappy notions:

• Armageddon insurance,  with Apocalypse rider extending to sulfurous fiery rainfall, locust with the heads of men, and another whippin’ for what I didn’t catch you doin’ yesterday!
• Pre-emptive crash-cart use to forestall any possible heart attacks you may have someday. CLEAR !
• Fri-guard pyroclastic flow flaps for the ol’ pick ’em up truck. In Nebraska.
• etc. etc. etc. for those who have run short of ideas.

Join the party! Try to think up some other stuff that you can fix even though it is in perfect working order. Then ask any door to door salesman what “gettin’ your foot in the door” means.

P.S. The cat isn’t just playing with the mouse. The cat is killing it.

P.P.S. Don’t invite Dracula over the threshold.