Are we strong enough? A Personal Revelation

As the father of 5’…. count’um “5”  females. And I can bear witness to the fact that no  mere man of bone and sinew can pass a season with such numbers and emerge unscathed.  I have had my share of swallowing words and waiting out anger rather than beating ass on a daily basis. I found, however, that after a quarter century of biting my tongue and apologizing for about 50% of what I say I slowly transformed myself  (in the name of peace and understanding) into an individual who didn’t even know if he still  had the guts to throw a punch let alone beat on someboy till they were subdued. As luck wold have it I have been compelled through circumstances.( beyond my control), to become involved in two or three pugilistic endeavors to chill down a couple of bullying males, (boyfriends, brain damaged drunks etc.) who needed a good thrashing for their misbehavior. But these were very brief encounters and not as thorough as I wanted.

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To be honest, I did not know if I could  still bring myself to throw a damaging punch until I had to. An adult man can be feminized if the demand for a soft attitude about things is all he is allowed to  express. Since this revelation I have taken steps, both emotional and  physical to start the “Re-Masculation of JackhammerJohn”  A great factor is discovering that my testosterone was being destroyed by the medication I take to control the  pain of idiopathic neuropathy. At the time of the first blood test I had less “man juice” in me than my wife. (Testosterone you fowl minded louts!)!As the youngest of five in a family of jocks I had to fight for a place under the sun since I was old enough to walk. My older brother David and I had a rather rambunctious relationship and fistfights in the living room of our humble home were common. 

Yet a year or so ago as I flinched at every other turn and bobble whenever my wife was driving.  It spurred her observation, “Why are you so nervous about everything now days. You used to glide through any crisis without a twitch. Now you are as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof.”

She was right. I had, in order to understand, communicate with and sympathize with my wife and daughters  I adopted many of their  attitudes and sensitivities in order to get along and keep things running conflict free at the ol’ homestead.  I had become feminized. I had developed a cushion of guilt for any assertive statements or actions to keep the fights to a minimum. Women like to quarrel. It is like a stimulant drug or some emotionally cleansing  primal carping. Unlike a good ol’ fashioned fist fight with a first punch and a last, they can go on with these verbal exchanges indefinitely. I am not up to the task of this kind of “every conflict is a fight for your life” attitude. For a moments peace and quiet I found it best to apologize, (usually five to ten “I’m sorry, it was all my fault.” repetitions are adequate  to start the resolution). Plus enduring, in humble silence, a couple days of cold shoulder just to drive home the seriousness of my crimes, before love can happen again.

It has required some focus and effort to return to being who I really am. A MAN!

So it is. It very well comes down to the choice of being strong and unpopular, (some of the time), or weaken my play to please rather than quarrel.  This marshmallow soft transmutation has been evolving since the women’s suffrage crap raised its ugly mug about a century ago.  

So it goes  with the American culture. We have become lazy, disengaged with who we were born to be, and more interested in popularity and the enabling necessary to purchase the good will of the children we dedicated our life to rearing.


. We are cheating our children out of lives made strong and a future they can build through self discipline and a clear vision of virtue over comfort. We have somehow elevated weakness to a position of prominance in the lexicon of personal tools we can use in all kinds of relationships. One tactic is paramount to all others….self condemnation to buy peace and good will. In political terms this is known as appeasement.

I have seen a remarkable phenomena among single parent homes in which women are rearing male children. As they applaud and act utterly impressed with little Johnny drooling in his hew running suit they also demand the female children to shut up and take care of little Johnny like he was a visiting celebrity. This produces a couple of things. One direction the “spoil the male rotten” tactic can run is toward the male child who screams like a girl at the sight of a spider and runs away. The other direction can result in a young adult  with a dangerous self-serving personality. A “King Baby” personality will result from pampering a male child too much. When you spoil a male child you unleash a selfish bully upon the world. In cultures where there is a great number of fathers who are disconnected or absent from the home you will find the greater problem with gangs and  an increase in criminal behavior in general.

We are rearing generations of young adults incapable of disciplining themselves enough to strive for what they want to achieve. Gangsters don’t have the backbone to achive what they want from self discipline and work. They have the mentality of a screaming brat with the muscle of an adult and they will bully, cheat or steal what they want from others.

And, in line with the old tried and true psychoanalytic principles, they establish transference reactions to anyone who represents parenthood (any mature, authoritative person), and they see all authorities as the parents who cheated in raising them. You’re basic Republican foots the bill as a parental hate object. And so it goes.

We have reared a generation who have realized, even if they are not fully conscious of it, that they have been cheated by the hypocritical parents who took the  leasier road of giving them whatever they want as a kick-back for “love”. So when the smoke of adolescence clears, they see what has happened and they hate us. They hate us for depriving them of a backbone.


Take a look around. Look at the broken glass and burning cars as they riot at each opportunity. These hate relationships seem to leap from one issue to another with each news story that prigs the progressive notion of right and worng. It doesn’t matter what the issue is. The real issue is the toxic relationship they have with their parents side of any issue. It is the millenials vitriolic vision of us, the mature, older Americans, ergo, their parents. And the millennial is very angry.  No one told them they were not going to be given everything they want from life. That they would have to WORK for a living. “So just get me a computer, a comfy couch in the game room and health insurance till I’m middle aged.”


But some mindsets are so deeply implanted, they are hard to get out of. Right now I am wallowing in the joyous benefits of my God-given masculinity. My epiphany came with the first Testosterone patch I put on a couple of years ago.  Suddenly a fog ws lifted from my sight and energy returned. Where I would cave and turn my anger inward at the first sign of conflict, I now direct my anger outward toward the source of my frustration rather than beat myself into submission to satisfy someone’s need for consent.

This has been the doom of Europe as it fills to bursting with refugees it really doesn’t want. But, in the name of being nice and likeable, Europe has inundated its countries with millions of  Muslims migrants  who appear as guests bent on staying forever or at least until the pantry is empty and it is time to move on to another group of rescuers to use and despise.


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