A Moment of Clarity


Hammer says sorry for the sloppy posting pattern of late. I have been in the process of tweaking the site to better serve my needs and have neglected daily postings etc.
To this point I have not promoted the site at all. This afforded me the comfort of anonymity as I fiddled with the particulars. But,since I have opened it up to the public in a couple of areas, all of a sudden what I doing is being observed!

After a series of strokes, after fighting with the doctors for  five years, trying to work them through their obsessive focus on political crusades. If I grew a second head out of my rectum my two physicians would have insisted it was a result of smoking.
“Two family deaths, unexpected and sudden. My mother died of sepsis related to a small wound she had concealed (she had a thing about going to doctors). My older brother followed her from an aneurism that popped three months after my mothers funeral. During this period I had my appendix rupture because I misdiagnosed it as an old hernia. My thoracic cavity filled with my own feces for a about 6 days. Almost dead.
My older brother blew an aneurism and passed. Three strokes followed one every few months. I am the last male alive in my family. None of us, my father two brothers and my uncles never made it passed 62 years of age.
Age 6 months: cerebro-spinal meningitis. My back flexed so severely the back of my head was a couple of inches from touching my heals.
Age13: Right foot pulled off.
A morass of  of 12 cars totaled, bar fights, jail cell power struggles, shot at (missed),couple road-blocks run etc. etc..
A year and a half ago I was 255 pounds, with my blood pressure ranging around 215/110. Having developed peripheral neuropathy I was on over 500 ml of oxycodone a day. The Oxycodone had the effect of chemically castrating me. A year and a half ago my wife had more testosterone in her body than I did. Note: (You can still have a sex life when you have no male hormones left). Any way after five years of begging for a conclusion other than smoking for my various maladies, I was tested and came up a steer.

I am now at 0 (zero) ml. of Oxy a day. Withdraw is a charm that has to be experienced to be fully appreciated. My testosterone is at healthy levels.  My life has taken a total turn around now that I have my hormones back! “Yeah baby!”

I started testosterone about a year and a half ago. Now  I am 185 lbs. now, blood pressure 120/70 or so, Working out with weights, stronger faster better than I have been since I was 20 years old. My blood work is following the profile of a teen-age male on cholesterol as well as a plethora of other blood levels coming up in ranges akin to those of a 18 year old.  (With commensurate bump to the ol’ libido tee hee.
Well I have stood face to face with my mortality. I intend on using every moment till I “shuffle off this mortal coil..”
What do you do when you have been humbled by life and want to live each day to the fullest. So I bring a warning about the fate of our civilization. We are living in Castles in the clouds, at a time when self-deception is seen as  a  vital social skill.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope this “blog thing” finds some success. I hope you will interested on my take of the world. For me, every day is another challenge. I thank God for the melee! It is nice, quiet and soooooo uneventful….if your a cadaver. So Hammer says: Don’t be a cadaver, fight the good fight with me…get in the game!…things have never been more clearly defined. Hammer says RIDE TO THE SOUND OF THE GUNS!


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